Yeah...just a day in the life...a link in the chain...beginning, the ending, they both look the same...
April hit...a week later. Seven years later and I'm still pathetically holding on...
A friend told me it wasn't pathetic and that he understood, which...yeah, he would...more than most, I think. But damn, it sure feels pathetic...*sigh* I just don't know why I can't let go. I really wish that I could just...give up the ghost.
Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging onHere I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
Anymore...
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*I so totally missed Houston on Monday. Its amazing...I didn't get homesick for Montrose...been there, done that...I missed Houston...I missed the city, I missed being able to drive around the city on freeways, going anywhere I pleased...
But mostly...
I missed James.
Yes, I missed him. I miss him. I love him and probably always will. I mean, yeah, we were only together for a year, but...that's still a chunk of my life that was devoted to him. I'm not sure what I missed but I missed him...a lot. I missed his smile...his goofy ears...his bad rap music...
I miss having someone to sleep beside me in bed at night...I want someone beside me so badly...I want someone to hold me, I want someone to love me, I want someone to want me...but mostly...
I want to be needed again.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*I miss my little sister. I miss my dad. I miss my brother. I miss my mommy.
My older sister is getting married. She sent me an invitation. It reads:
"My Father" and the late "My Mother" joyfully invite you to the marriage celebration of their daughter
My sister
to
Her fiancee
son of his dad and mom
saturday, the fourth of june
two thousand five
at three thirty in the afternoon
441 west forty third street
new york, new york 10036
Well, now y'all know where they're gettin married. If anybody in the area wants to attend for me...just tell them that Suzy's little sister sentcha! I want to go...I want to go so badly...but yeah, I'm 20 and can't exactly just shell out the money to fly to New York City for the weekend. Now, if anyone wanted to buy me a plane ticket...ooh la la, I'd love you forever! God, I'm such a whore! *evyll grin*
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I miss the way things used to be.
Yesterday ~*~ Tomorrow
