So...there's about 9 days and several hours until I'm on a plane flyin into Montrose! Man, I am SO excited! I've got all my Christmas schtuff in order, shipped out the important presents, and am actually in the holiday spirit for the first time in a LONG time!

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If I could pull you back
from where you've been,
I would but you've left me no reason left to fight.
You crossed that line, you can't uncross.
You made a choice and now there's no way to ever make it right
but if my tears had any power,
I would cry, I would cry

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This is my new tree. My other one kinda went caput when it was touched! Sadness! But this is a most wonderful patriotic Nascar tree! It has little pit-crew guys that have 3's on their little hats! And of course, the red and blue Christmas balls just called out to me!

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Just one thing about the coming holiday bugs me...my sister will be there. I haven't spoken to her since last Christmas. I would hope that an entire year would give us enough time to cool our heels and get over whatever the hell happened, but my sister holds grudges. She's held a grudge against me since I was born. She's eleven years older than me and wanted to be the baby. I came along and she wasn't anymore and she's held that against me since, especially since I was adopted into the role of "baby of the family." All I can say is that I hope we cause no problems and that things go smoothly. Which I most definitely think they will since my brother will be there!

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I have a Christmas wish-list, but...its really not important. Its got books and various writing stuff on it...a membership to Club Pogo and SuperGold for d'land, but...none of that matters if I can't have what I want most...

...for my heart not to hurt anymore.
...for the memories to fade to happiness.
...for the nightmare to end.
...to be loved for me.
...to be wanted.
...to be needed.
...to be loved by the one I love.
...to know what it means to be beautiful to someone.
...to know what it means to be happy.

...to be happy.

These are the things I wish for most...
...can anyone grant my Christmas wishes?

Yesterday ~*~ Tomorrow